How to Silence the Self-Critic as a Mum

How to Silence the Self-Critic as a Mum: Simple and Practical Suggestions

As mums, we often strive to do it all—be the perfect parent, partner, professional, and friend.

BUT amid all this juggling, that inner critic can sneak in, whispering (or shouting) doubts like, “You’re not doing enough” or “You should have handled that better.” It’s exhausting, discouraging, and untrue.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Learning to silence that self-critical voice is essential not only for your well-being but also for the example you set for your family.

Here are 7 simple, practical ways to quiet your inner critic and foster a kinder, more supportive inner dialogue.

1. Recognize the Critic’s Voice

The first step in silencing the self-critic is identifying when it shows up. Notice when negative thoughts arise and how they make you feel. Write them down to gain clarity—sometimes seeing them on paper helps you recognize how unfair or unfounded they are.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Ask yourself:

• Is this thought true?
• Would I say this to a friend or another mum in my situation?

Often, the answer is no. Reframe these thoughts by focusing on the effort you’ve made, not just the outcome. For example, replace “I failed dinner tonight” with “I showed up for my family today, and that counts.”

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend. When you catch yourself being overly critical, pause and remind yourself that motherhood is challenging, and you’re doing your best.

A simple phrase like, “I am human, and that’s okay” can go a long way.

4. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Perfection is a myth, especially in parenting. Instead of striving to get everything just right, celebrate the small wins—like managing to get everyone out the door on time or creating a meal your kids enjoyed. Recognizing progress keeps negativity at bay.

5. Create Space for Yourself

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

When you’re depleted, your inner critic gets louder. Take a few minutes each day for something that fills your cup—whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, a short walk, journaling, or simply breathing deeply.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you.

Mums supporting mums can be incredibly empowering. Seek out positive influences online or in your community, and share your challenges and triumphs with them.

7. Model Self-Kindness for Your Kids

Remember, your children are watching.

By treating yourself with compassion and speaking kindly to yourself, you’re teaching them to do the same. This powerful lesson will shape their self-esteem and how they handle challenges.

Final Thoughts

Silencing the self-critic doesn’t happen overnight, but each small step toward self-kindness adds up. You deserve to feel confident and capable in your role as a mum, and that starts with how you speak to yourself.

Next time your inner critic pipes up, pause, reframe, and remind yourself: You’re doing an amazing job, and you’re enough—just as you are.

Wishing you kindness and calm,

Yvette